Here is my feedback after having read the document:
The overall format is fine, however, the title format should be the same
throughout. In EN, titles are usually capitalized and should follow
these conventional rules -- ALL section titles should be checked to
follow these rules.
Processes -> "3. The rules of procedure can enter into effect earliest
after approval by the board accord ..."
Suggestion: "The rules of procedure can enter into effect at the
earliest time after approval by the board ..."
Reason: I believe your are attempting to use earliest as an adjective
(superlative) and adjectives are usually not used by themselves. Other
options could be "at the earliest convenience". No need to use accord as
approval has already established that the board has agreed to this.
* The rules of procedure must not conflict with TDF statutes. In such
cases, the conflicting parts are overridden by whatever is mandated by
Suggestion: "In such cases, the conflicting parts are overridden by the
Reason: Statutes by definition are normally mandated, there is no need
to state the obvious as it becomes redundant.
* Capitalize title by EN convention
Decision Making and Responsibilities
Basic principle - all members of the board of directors participate in
all board matters by voting. As such, the principle of joint management
Suggest: "Basic principle - All members of the board of directors
participate in all board matters by voting. As such, the principle of
joint management is maintained."
my preference: "Basic principle - All members of the board of directors
participate in all board matters by voting, and, as such, the principle
of joint management is maintained."
Reason: Capitalize the "All", my preference -- just being picky, but
would seem to suit best the first exclamatory statement.
"Internally, the board has decided on the following split of
Suggest: Replace "split" to "division" as this more translatable and
less of an EN coloquialism.
"For decisions affecting daily operations, and if the vote happens
electronically via email, for values of less than € 500, or an
equivalent contractual liability, not answering in the vote thread for
longer than 2 business days (for reasons including absence and illness)
counts towards approval."
Suggest: "Where a vote is conducted via email, and, where votes are left
unanswered in the corresponding thread for a period exceeding 2 business
days (for reasons including those of absence and illness), unanswered
votes will count towards an approval. This applies for decisions
affecting the daily operations, or, of requests to the board where the
amount concerned is of less than € 500, or, of requests to the board
that are of an equivalent contractual liability."
Reason: Run on sentence that needs to be reformed.
"By simple majority, the board can delegate tasks"
Suggest: "The board can delegate tasks by simple majority."
Reason: Not sure why the sentence was broken up in the first place. As
both halves of the sentence seem just as important, the sentence should
then be put back in the right order in order to make it a clear and
"Those delegated tasks may have a budget assigned."
Suggest: "Those delegated tasks may have an assigned budget."
Reason: Dangling participle makes the sentence confusing. Sentence also
needs a period.
"Delegated tasks have mandatory reporting and disclosure requirements
towards the board, including disposition of funds, and achievement of
Suggest: "Members, who have been delegated tasks, may have mandatory
reporting and disclosure requirements, reporting of the disposition of
funds (where applicable), and, reporting of the achievement of task
objectives. These are to be reported to the board"
Reason: "towards" makes the sentence confusing. Breaking up the list of
obligations also lends itself to confusion.
Section 4. introduces a new word "director" which has not been defined
in the document. What does "director" define or her/his obligations?
Suggest: The "director" title should be defined in a prior section
"It is the sole discretion of the board to setup committees, tasked to
prepare decisions for the board. Committees can only advise, the
ultimate decision authority and responsibility lies with the board."
Suggest: "The ultimate "decision authority" and the ownership of the
responsibility of delegated tasks remain with the board. Committees may
be tasked as advisory groups but remain subordinate to board authority
and of its decision making process."
Reason: Original sentence is choppy.
"The board will contract, or alternatively hire if more
economical/practical, resources for professional, secure, and timely
maintenance of TDF's central IT infrastructure. The board acknowledges
that TDF's virtual presence and web pages are one of its most valuable
assets, and thus are worthy of focused investment to complement the
sysadmin community's great work."
Suggest: "The board may contract or hire professional resource help in
order to assure a well secured and maintained central IT infrastructure.
The board acknowledges that the virtual presence and web pages of TDF
are one of its most valuable assets, and thus, are worthy of focused
investment to complement the contribution of the sysadmin community."
Reason: Not sure if "will" was intentional, as it suggests that the
board is in the process of hiring individuals rather than "may" which
suggests options. Second half of paragraph -- avoid contractions as much
Validity and Entry Into Force
"should one or more items of these rules of procedure turn out to be
invalid, in collision with the statutes, German law, or otherwise not
applicable, all other items will remain in effect."
Suggest: "Should one or more items of these rules of procedure prove
invalid, in contravention with the statutes, in contravention with
German law, or otherwise not applicable, all other items will remain in
Reason: "turn out to be" is a colloquialism that is best avoided. "in
collision", I believe is meant to mean "in contravention" and ibid to
Thanks for reading over these suggestions.
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